I wrote this for another venue.  And of course, it is on the I’m-the-old-mother-passing-down-wisdom side of things, but it is in my heart tonight.

Dear Mommies,

It is okay.   I’m not saying that it will be okay.  I’m saying that it is okay.  You’re the Mommy.  Baby is the baby.  Sometimes we don’t know what to do.  Sometimes we think we have all the answers.   It’s like being a teenager, again!  Never the less, there are two truths I want to share today, especially to the new Mommy.

1.        You are the Mommy.  Trust your instincts.

2.       Babies are resilient.  It’s okay.

I know that you’ve heard it before; but it bears repeating here.  Trust your instincts. In our North American society, we are trained and positioned to ignore our very basic instincts.  When we feel afraid of the dark parkade, we think we are being silly.  When there’s an uncomfortable tension between two friends, we think it must be us.  The point is that we have ignored our instincts for so long, that this may be an acquired skill.  Take this quick self-check.

Self-check: Are you hungry?  Are your clothes feeling soft or scratchy?  Are you feeling cool or warm right now?

Stay in tune with yourself.  And it will be much easier to stay in tune with your baby.

It is important to note here, that there are barriers to bonding with your new baby; a difficult birth, a complicated pregnancy, a significant life event.  All these things will affect the speed and strength of your bond.  And did you notice?  They are out of your control. It is okay.  You will bond.  Children love their parents.  And I believe that you love your baby.  And nothing can change that.  You don’t have to feel like it.  And it is okay. You will protect and care for your little bundle (of tears or regret) and it will be okay.  You will bond.  You will rise to the occasion.  And baby will be fine.  I know it.

Did you know that in some cultures after childbirth, the Mother isn’t to leave her bed for 41 days?  Not to shower, not to walk, nothing.  It is a big deal, this birthing thing.   Just because our culture doesn’t recognize it, doesn’t mean that it isn’t.  Period.  Childbirth is a big deal. And Mommy, you need to take care of yourself post-partum.  This is not one of those niceties:  if only my Mom lived closer.  No!  This is serious.  Your body knows it.  You know it.  I know it.  All of the Mommy Club members know this.  So please, dear Mommy, take care of yourself!

Tips to safely cut a child’s hair:

• PLAY VIDEO on portable DVD player on dining room table
• Set up high bar stool/ chair so that you don’t kill your back.
• Spend $2 on the re-usable hair apron thingy, instead of a garbage bag.
• Always hold hair in one hand (with some give) and cut with the other hand. This way when the child moves around you don’t loose your nice section of hair. And of course there’s the added advantage of not paying for therapy whilst your child recovers from the stabbing.

Thick Hair: Emma has really thick hair, so I cut it in sections across the back.

For fringed sides:

• Do NOT cut across like you would straight bangs.
• You have to start at top of head and select section of hair only 1/2 inch wide, from top of head down to neck.
• Cut on an angle from the shortest hairs (top) to the longest hair(bottom).
• Didn’t quite get a picture of this.

Bangs: Don’t cut more than just above the eyebrow line. As you can see here - it is TOO short! lol

Also, I find it helpful to ignore the pouting preschooler until the need for reprimand becomes intolerable.

To get it even across the back: push the hair against the neck and pull out in a C shape. My top finger is holding the top hairs down into a C shape, and allowing the bottom ones to be pulled straight out.

And that pretty much sums of my morning. Oh, that, and a new design for your blog! Check out the Diva design here: www.tibbles.net/designs

Enjoy!

PS - this is totally not, uh-uh, no-way professional advice. Just a mom who’s learned the hard way.

You can find more Tuesday Toot’s (mommy’s tooting their own horn!) here.    And if you are looking for more Works for me Wednesday stuff, click here.

At 5 minutes for Mom the girls have teamed up with Capessa (a women’s online site) to award a mom from Canada or states, $500 gift card! Isn’t that coooool? You only have to leave a comment of your defining mom moment (or one of them). This is one that stands out in my mind:

My 2 year old wakes up barely able to breath. I call the ambulance. My mom, and other daughter panic. I order them around. I order my mom to pack up the infant (i think she was 2 weeks old at the time) into the car seat. The ambulance attendants look at me sidewides. There is no way in hell I’m leaving the infant without a breast. I am totally calm until toddler is breathing, doctor has okay’d her treatment. Infant is safe in car seat with me. Oldest daughter taken care of. Hubby notified. Then I cry.

Do you see that cute button over there —>

that is the link to the giveaway contest post on 5 minutes for mom.  If you read down on that page, you will find a list of giveaways.  All are for bloggers in the states.  And lots are for online or offline moms.  and some are even for Canadians!  yeah!

Hi Mommies,

My poor Emma started a small rash - allergy-looking thing on her face last Friday.  By Sunday it was on her entire body - not welts, just red pin-prick size spots under the skin.  Her entire body minus her legs.  Poor thing. I took her to the doc on Monday, and she was diagnosed with a SDV.   Which the doctor informs me is:

“Some Dumb Virus”

I kid you not!  He can rule out all of the major childhood illnesses, and said he is left with an SDV.  :)  I’m compleeeeetely okay with that!  So she IS contagious - just like a cold would be except probably skin to skin contact too.  Anyhow, no big deal.  She is watching tv at the moment with a calamine-smeared body, and Benadryl.  So it should be a quiet day around here!  2 yr old Megan doesn’t have it yet.

In all seriousness it made me eternally grateful that I’ve had the girls vaccinated.  I know there are all kinds of discussions and heated debates on the subject.  But when, out of nowhere, YOUR child catches a SDV, I swear you too would be over the moon that you made the right decision to vaccinate.  My doc told me that as long as 95% of the population remains vaccinated, we can continue to suppress the spread of diseases like measles and rubella.   If the non-vaccinating crowd gets their way, there will be a whole lot less than 95% of the population vaccinated - and that is a veeeeeeeeery scary thought!  

Happily yours,

Cathy

Hello, my dear Readers,

I write to you from the children’s hospital in Vancouver. I have no chipper tips or tricks for you today - just a note from one mommy to another. I know that other moms out there have experienced what I’m going through. My 3 year old has an infection that is being quite stubborn - but not life threatening. The thing with children being sick is that i have to stay with her - or someone does obviously. So right now, my heart aches to send Haley off to her first week of school, and to cuddle my baby Megan.

A distinguishing feature of our trip this time is the bright orange sign on our room - “STRICT ISOLATION”, this means that we’ve been unable to take advantage of all the playrooms and great toys here. I am pulling my hair out to entertain my little munchkin - and ya know, a Mommy is not meant to spend 24 hours per day with a preschooler - that is just simply WRONG! The evil shrew inside me is trying very hard to take over at about 8 PM at night after a long day!

The first day i was here this is what kept running through my head and gave me some comfort:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace. Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will. So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with you forever in the next.

Then YESTERDAY- Tuesday - arrived, and there was no more serenity/ prayers to be had. I was a mess. The only thing I had to turn to was my journal, which I haven’t done in ages. But with pen and paper easy to come by - it is a tool that can come with me anywhere. I am thankful for that resource, and knowing how to use it.

Emma is now doing well and responding to antibiotics, and in the light of day, this morning, my sanity has returned. And I know that I can stay here and be THE Mommy for one more day. And that is all I have to worry about - just today!

So, my dear Mommies, we all struggle, and I hope that someone else finds comfort in these words.

Heartfelt thanks,

Multitalentedmommy