I wrote this for another venue.  And of course, it is on the I’m-the-old-mother-passing-down-wisdom side of things, but it is in my heart tonight.

Dear Mommies,

It is okay.   I’m not saying that it will be okay.  I’m saying that it is okay.  You’re the Mommy.  Baby is the baby.  Sometimes we don’t know what to do.  Sometimes we think we have all the answers.   It’s like being a teenager, again!  Never the less, there are two truths I want to share today, especially to the new Mommy.

1.        You are the Mommy.  Trust your instincts.

2.       Babies are resilient.  It’s okay.

I know that you’ve heard it before; but it bears repeating here.  Trust your instincts. In our North American society, we are trained and positioned to ignore our very basic instincts.  When we feel afraid of the dark parkade, we think we are being silly.  When there’s an uncomfortable tension between two friends, we think it must be us.  The point is that we have ignored our instincts for so long, that this may be an acquired skill.  Take this quick self-check.

Self-check: Are you hungry?  Are your clothes feeling soft or scratchy?  Are you feeling cool or warm right now?

Stay in tune with yourself.  And it will be much easier to stay in tune with your baby.

It is important to note here, that there are barriers to bonding with your new baby; a difficult birth, a complicated pregnancy, a significant life event.  All these things will affect the speed and strength of your bond.  And did you notice?  They are out of your control. It is okay.  You will bond.  Children love their parents.  And I believe that you love your baby.  And nothing can change that.  You don’t have to feel like it.  And it is okay. You will protect and care for your little bundle (of tears or regret) and it will be okay.  You will bond.  You will rise to the occasion.  And baby will be fine.  I know it.

Did you know that in some cultures after childbirth, the Mother isn’t to leave her bed for 41 days?  Not to shower, not to walk, nothing.  It is a big deal, this birthing thing.   Just because our culture doesn’t recognize it, doesn’t mean that it isn’t.  Period.  Childbirth is a big deal. And Mommy, you need to take care of yourself post-partum.  This is not one of those niceties:  if only my Mom lived closer.  No!  This is serious.  Your body knows it.  You know it.  I know it.  All of the Mommy Club members know this.  So please, dear Mommy, take care of yourself!

There is so much I want to share, but I will have to get my daughter’s permission first (She turns 8 on Tuesday!) But here’s the short of it - we had a spat today. I’ll write more later after I think about it. She seems to be at that age where she doesn’t want her friends to know that she gets in trouble, nope. not her. Apparently, that’s embarrassing, Mom! okey dokey.

But she was so sweet when we worked it out together. And I think we really turned a corner in our relationship. And I want her to remember some of these sweet moments that we have together. And part of this blog is so that she will have these memories and thoughts of her mother. But maybe not for the world to know… because *gulp* her friends might find out she got in trouble.

Anyhoo, another thing - church today was very interesting. Now, if you happened on my blog, and you wouldn’t say that you’re a Christian, hang tight with me a moment here. You may agree with what I’m going to describe. Our Pastor today was doing a critique of the church. Yup. No kidding - a critique. And it wasn’t too shocking what he said. Stuff like: as Christians we are known more for what we take away from our lives, than from what we add to our lives. But did you know, that in recent research into the image of Christianity in North America (maybe this is different elsewhere…) that over 80% of Canadians & Americans would call themselves Christian? But most people think that if they were to become an acting Christian, it would make their lives a little worse!!!

Did you get that? Instead of portraying the security and abundance that we have in Christ, we are somehow portraying that to become a Christian would make their lives WORSE!!! Now, from my experience in life (I’m 34, with the wisdom of a 60 year old though), this rings very true. To become a Christian seems like this:

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Galatians 5:24”

• fire insurance (although I probably don’t believe in REAL fire)
• I’d have to loose all the “bad habits” ie: drinking, dancing, swearing, overall fun-having
• becoming ‘the Jones’s’ - single detached home, stay-at-home mom, working dad, 2.5 children. Grass at 4 cm
• become all religious, preachy, and intolerant of homosexuals
• And I would have to mold myself to fit in

How many tattoo-clad, biker people, misbehaving children, and homeless addicts have you seen lately in church? That may seem extreme because that’s not my church’s mission field, but who would stand out in YOUR church? The one with the suit, or without? The one with long hair, or no hair? Disheveled clothes, or designer duds? Face it: we all have a look.

Okay, would you really want that?

So I just have to wonder, what do I look like to others seeing my life as a “Christian”? And when you come into my house, and see my stickies with verses on them, and all my Christian books, you can’t escape the fact that I’d call myself spiritual. If we don’t have a good “Christian” image, should we hide? I don’t believe we can answer that question truthfully until we know if we are a “good Christian.” Here’s how to know:

• Do you sin?
  

  Matthew 9:12 says: On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’^[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

• Do you want to fill that emptiness deep inside? Try praying as this father did in Mark 9:23:
  

  “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

• Have you made a decision to surrender?
  

  Matthew 11:28-29: Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls.

• Do you desire to or attempt to or want to continually obey our Creator’s Handbook for the abundant life?
  

  Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God [the Bible] is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires. It exposes us for what we really are. Nothing in all creation can hide from him. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes. This is the God to whom we must explain all that we have done. That is why we have a high Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy [forgiveness], and we will find grace [gifts that help us and that we don't deserve]to help us when we need it.
  

Did you notice that the writer is not assuming that we will then have the perfect Christ-image? We will need grace and mercy! We will face temptation. And we will fail sometimes. Only Jesus remained true in the face of our deepest fears and temptations. Our God is gracious! That’s why we’re Christians! We NEED that grace and mercy. He gives us the chance that we so desire. And then when we screw it up, he gives us another chance. And then when we screw up He gives us another chance. And then when we screw up He gives us another chance. Do you hear this? THIS is what God is about. Not so much about ME and my Christianity, but about Him.

Don’t you think that Christianity would have a better “image” if we were all a little more authentic in our struggle to believe? Our struggles with temptation and authenticity? Our fears and our moments of faith?
Does it reflect poorly on our faith if we have our days, moments, or years of unbelief? Or is it all this pretending to be godly that gets us in trouble.

Christianity either works or it doesn’t. It works and transforms life so that we at least sometimes, can be authentic. Or it doesn’t work, and why are we bothering to carry-on the facade?

There is so much more I want to explore on that last question.  I will think about that some more and write some of my thoughts later this week.

Insurance Primer, last sermon, I promise.  er.. at least on this topic anyways.

Our insurance claim?  Going smoothly!  The van is in the shop.  The third party accepted liability and all is working out just fine!  We even have a rental which is suiting me just fine (I wonder if they’ll trade for the van?).

So we’ve covered financial indemnity, and the sexy gardener.  What else is there?  In case anyone cares - we also had an honest repair shop!  It was a rarity in my experience.  You’d be surprised how many people think that it is okay to get a ‘little extra’ on their claim, because they’ve been paying ‘into’ their insurance.  Usually good honest people actually think this is okay.  I don’t blame them - I truly think it is a lack of understanding.  Insurance isn’t a tricky thing, but it is also something we don’t contemplate at night as we drift off into dreamland.  In summary:  insurance is NOT a bank account.  You are purchasing peace-of-mind.  That’s it girls!  And I don’t think you’d want to do without it if you thought about it.

If you never have to collect on your insurance, just count yourself blessed!

And if *and I know you will* you ever need more preachy diatribes on the benefits of insurance, just leave a comment - glad to help any way I can!

I was in a car accident tonight - no worries! We are all fine. but not my sexy mini-van. rotfl. The claims process, and appraisal and everything brought back memories of being an insurance adjuster. “A whaaa?”, you ask. Well, ya know the bad guys in Erin Brokovich? Yup. That was me before children (minus the cigar and bald head). When I was a newbie in the insurance claims office, my boss told me,

“The insurance policy is the most expensive paper/document most people will ever own, and yet rarely does anyone read it.”

So my dear friends, I’m dusting off the ol’ brain, and climbing up on that well-worn soapbox to present with great adieu, and sexy-model-smoochy lips:

Mommy Motivation Insurance Primer, part I:

Girlfriend, I just got the cutest shoes and the best insurance policy ever!

I know, it’s as old as the hills, right? lolol So, what exactly IS insurance? Peace of mind, mommies! And that’s pretty much it! Just beautiful peace of mind, and in the worst case scenario, financial indemnity.

For example, let’s take, ahhhh, I dunno….. off the top of my head: a car accident.

Let’s say the car accident causes you an injury. Now insurance can’t heal you, or take away a traumatic memory or give you back lost time. But it CAN restore you financially to where you were before the accident. So this will include direct costs arising from the accident. (IF you purchased the right insurance, with the right coverages, in full discloser and not doing somethin’ bad at the time!*) Medical bills, vehicle damage - No problem. Well, unless you count a sore back, and a hideous neck brace making you look and move like a giraffe.

But let’s also say that all the lawns in your neighbourhood, including yours, are perfectly manicured; and all the neighbours get up at 5am on Saturday to begin clipping the grass with scissors? As far as I know, there is no loss-of-gardening-ability-due to-injury-as-a-direct-result-of-loss coverage. But it could be covered in the spirit of your policy. I would expect that your little grass obsession will put you back financially because of this accident. According to the principle of indemnity, you may be covered for that.*

If, however, you’re growing a wheat field (with a decorative bunch of crab grass and wild ‘flowers’) in your lawn, and all of the sudden decide that you ought to dust off the lawn mower, or, ahem, hire yard help. Well hon, your field just may have to wait until your injury is healed.

But that isn’t fair (in more ways than one), you say? The lawn-obsessed people get more from their insurance than the field growers? Well, actually they both get what they paid for: financial indemnity. And by the way, the more the insurance company stands to loose by insuring you (and your perfect lawn), the more your premiums will be. You see?

Never fear dear friends, I’m not even close to finished on my soapbox here! rotflol - but you’ll have to wait til part II.

* Very important: lets pretend I have footnotes and explanations all over the place, and really good little tidbits about how I’m not responsible if you take my blog entries and get yourself in trouble because of them. Oh what the heck! I don’t need footnotes - this is a PRIMER people! And more importantly, this is MY soapbox, and I like it that way! lol