Attention New Mommies!

I wrote this for another venue.  And of course, it is on the I’m-the-old-mother-passing-down-wisdom side of things, but it is in my heart tonight.

Dear Mommies,

It is okay.   I’m not saying that it will be okay.  I’m saying that it is okay.  You’re the Mommy.  Baby is the baby.  Sometimes we don’t know what to do.  Sometimes we think we have all the answers.   It’s like being a teenager, again!  Never the less, there are two truths I want to share today, especially to the new Mommy.

1.        You are the Mommy.  Trust your instincts.

2.       Babies are resilient.  It’s okay.

I know that you’ve heard it before; but it bears repeating here.  Trust your instincts. In our North American society, we are trained and positioned to ignore our very basic instincts.  When we feel afraid of the dark parkade, we think we are being silly.  When there’s an uncomfortable tension between two friends, we think it must be us.  The point is that we have ignored our instincts for so long, that this may be an acquired skill.  Take this quick self-check.

Self-check: Are you hungry?  Are your clothes feeling soft or scratchy?  Are you feeling cool or warm right now?

Stay in tune with yourself.  And it will be much easier to stay in tune with your baby.

It is important to note here, that there are barriers to bonding with your new baby; a difficult birth, a complicated pregnancy, a significant life event.  All these things will affect the speed and strength of your bond.  And did you notice?  They are out of your control. It is okay.  You will bond.  Children love their parents.  And I believe that you love your baby.  And nothing can change that.  You don’t have to feel like it.  And it is okay. You will protect and care for your little bundle (of tears or regret) and it will be okay.  You will bond.  You will rise to the occasion.  And baby will be fine.  I know it.

Did you know that in some cultures after childbirth, the Mother isn’t to leave her bed for 41 days?  Not to shower, not to walk, nothing.  It is a big deal, this birthing thing.   Just because our culture doesn’t recognize it, doesn’t mean that it isn’t.  Period.  Childbirth is a big deal. And Mommy, you need to take care of yourself post-partum.  This is not one of those niceties:  if only my Mom lived closer.  No!  This is serious.  Your body knows it.  You know it.  I know it.  All of the Mommy Club members know this.  So please, dear Mommy, take care of yourself!